By Jessica Breger
Contributing writer
There are millions of people trying to get rich, but why? It’s the marvelous world of the poor that is really exciting.
Rich celebrities are stuck in the spotlight, getting everything they want. You just have to pity them.
It’s such a hard life that they turn to drugs, but even then they can’t get that love they crave.
It’s not like people adore them every day. No, they are all so alone.
I would much rather be poor. When you are poor, you get an adrenaline rush every month, especially those off months, when every bill is due with one check. You’re not sure if you’ll make it. If you do, what will you eat?
You get all that adrenaline, just by living your day-to-day life. Can the rich people do that? I think not.
If you’re rich, you probably pay tons of money for professional diets and personal trainers. They are doing it all wrong.
All a poor person has to do is eat what they have, practically nothing.
And because poor people have to save as much gas as they possibly can, they get plenty of exercise. Walking everywhere after such small meals is sure to keep you nice and thin.
Just think how sexy your calves will be.
The best part of being poor is how easily amused you become.
Why on earth would you want to spend piles of money on some extreme sport or long vacation in a nasty tropical paradise?
A poor person knows how to have fun, without all those pesky tan people making you feel bad about yourself.
You just grab a water gun and have at it. Shoot all your neighbors and then run when they call the cops. No better extreme sport than that.
Well, now we can all see who has the better life. It’s all clear to you now, right?
So you’ve decided that you want to be poor now and have all the fun and excitement that comes with it.
I’ll help. I’ll take the burden of your money, and you can have the good life.
No, don’t feel bad. I can handle the pain.
Just hand it over and have fun.