by Brandi Bunch
Contributing writer
I think it is safe to say that we, as a race, are vain. I don’t necessarily care for the notion, but teeth whitening systems, breast implants and hair dye all make it difficult to deny.
However, I don’t appreciate retailers being so desperate for a sale that they outright lie for the sake of our fragile little egos. I’m talking (ranting) about vanity sizing. After a summer of wearing shorts, I went to put on a pair of jeans that I had bought without trying on; they were from a trusted brand so I figured everything would be fine.
Imagine my surprise when they were quite baggy. Not “loose,” but outright baggy, to the point that they almost required a belt. Confusion ensued, followed by a double-check of the tag and the style, just to make sure I hadn’t picked up the wrong pair. Nope.
A check of another pair in the same size and by the same retailer, but purchased two years ago (they still fit and they’re comfy, don’t judge me), and shock and awe, a perfect fit. What the heck, store-I-shall-call-American-Beagle for the purposes of this article?
Vanity sizing. It seems that American people are far too sensitive to hear that their collective waistline is expanding, and they therefore must be coddled and made to think that nothing has changed, so stores are bumping up sizes without changing the numbers on the tags.
That way, we’ll feel all warm and fuzzy when their dimly lit fitting room mirrors tell us our cheesecake diet has not affected our butts at all and will, ideally, then proceed to buy their crap.
You know how some women will tell you “Hey, Marilyn Monroe was a size 16”? Honey, I mean this in the nicest possible way, but you don’t look like Marilyn Monroe. One, that was a UK size 16, which is a US size 12, and two, in modern day sizes, that’s about an eight. That’s how much things have changed.
It’s frustrating to no end, especially since there is no uniform upward measurement of the sizing; I have 0’s that are baggy and 3’s that fit perfectly. Am I seriously supposed to keep a list of what fits me in which store?
Look, it’s great that you guys care so much about our feelings, but if we’re old enough to be shopping, we’re old enough to be accountable for what we do to our bodies.
If I don’t like the number on the tag of my jeans, I’ll work to change myself rather than expecting the world to change around me.
Sure, we’re in a recession and you really want us to buy your products, we get that, but it would be nice if you didn’t patronize us to make it happen. Condescension is generally not part of a good business model.